how i thought it would be

for 9 months i wondered what life would be like with the sweet baby that was inside me.

i kept trying to prepare myself for the hard parts of motherhood. 

i didn't want to be caught off guard. harder things in life are so much easier to handle when you know they are coming. 

maybe you could tell or maybe you couldn't, but the first month of Carter's life rocked my world.

these days, the curve balls still come, but because our life has a rhythm, they're much more manageable.

Carter has been patient in helping me learn about him. 

i am so grateful.

last night, as i held Carter in one hand and fixed dinner with the other,

the thought came to me-

"this is what i pictured life being like with our precious baby."

this is what i was imagining all along. 

now-

we dance in the kitchen, play airplane, sing songs, make faces

basically do anything if it will make Carter laugh.

daron and i fight like siblings fighting over shotgun over

who gets to wake Carter up from his evening nap. 

now when Carter cries, amazingly enough, 

{i doubted this could ever happen}

i know what he needs.

-most of the time :)-

it took a little while, but we made it.

we survived the very disorienting first months of parenthood.

some may be bewildered at how the beginning is hard.
others will know exactly what i am talking about.

what i am saying is, if you find the first 1 or 2 or 3...

months of motherhoood rock your world-

just know you are not alone.