baby bump #2: 28 weeks

over labor day weekend of 2014, we found out we were expecting! 

when i found out i was pregnant with carter, i was in complete shock. 

this time around, i cried tears of joy. 

i had been a little suspicious during mine and carter's stay in utah that i might be pregnant because i couldn't eat too much without feeling a little woozy, i was peeing constantly, and every time i went for a jog, my legs felt like lead - exactly how they felt before i knew i was pregnant with carter. however, i had convinced myself that i was pregnant a few times over the summer only to learn that i wasn't, so i was doing my best to shrug off the subtle symptoms.

once we got to the uintas for our horseback riding trip, i started to get really suspicious. i wanted nothing to do with the costco size bag of peanut m&ms the entire trip. i knew then that somethin' was up!

i expected this pregnancy to be exactly the same as carter's. all of my mom's pregnancies were similar and so were my sisters and so i figured i would follow suit. then, surprise! i quickly realized this pregnancy was very different.

the nausea was much more intense. the only way i found relief from it was while sitting in the bath. i was much more tired this time around too. my hair was falling out instead of getting thicker. (with carter, my friends all called my hair "my horses pony tail" because it was so thick and long). it also lost all of its volume in an awful way. around 15 weeks, i couldn't take the "limp hair" (as what to expect calls it - yes, there's a name for it!) and i chopped it off. i also never got that pregnancy glow or the 2nd trimester "pep in my step" i felt with carter. throughout the 2nd trimester, i was still nauseous and having really intense headaches. i kept giving myself deadlines for when i was going to feel better but the dead lines would come and go while the nausea stayed. i finally realized i should expect that i might be sick the whole time. 

i wish i could say i have handled the whole sick every day thing really well and have been positive and happy and a peach to be around but then i'd be lying. it sounds weird but i haven't felt like myself. it has felt as though someone zapped all the enthusiasm for life right out of me. a few other physical symptoms i think have played a part in this but i will spare you the details of those because trust me - they are TMI.

eventually, at 27 weeks, i woke up to a text from a sweet friend of mine (who is also expecting and has a similar due date) congratulating me on making it to the 3rd trimester! i read her text and almost cried. 

i couldn't believe it. this whole time i had been avoiding thinking about how many weeks i was because time had been passing painfully slow. i hadn't realized how far i had come! my little nauseous body felt a renewed sense of energy and i was filled with hope.  

since then, everything has been better. i feel exactly the same physically and emotionally but everything is better. isn't it funny how that works? it all seems doable to me now. i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. and it's finally late enough in the game that i can really start focusing on this little girl being here and not feel like i am getting ahead of myself. i know this change of attitude is a gift from the heavens. i feel as though God is letting me borrow some of His optimism because i was having a hard time having any on my own. 

cheers to 12 ish more weeks!

^^this picture- because this boy has my heart and this spontaneous kiss made my day