Dec 30, 2012

Christmas in denver

Christmas was a success this year. i found myself feeling very blessed
over and over and over.
we were surrounded by beautiful Christmas d├ęcor
thanks to Linnea's hard work and brilliance.
her Christmas decorations were absolutely wonderful
and i just couldn't get enough of them.

Carter met his great-grandmother, Shirley, for the very first time.
this was a special moment.
we love this woman and she loves her family.
i like to call her the
she is an incredible example of kindness and it made me
very happy to have her and Carter finally meet.
he is a lucky little boy to be part of her family legacy.
much of the time was spent with family
which was exactly why this Christmas was such a success.
we were surrounded by people we love and care about.
^^ cousins (2 weeks apart!)
i already love those two together.
cute little baby Mac and baby Carter
(i pretty much die over Carter's half smile) 
 ^^^auntie love.
^^i literally could not remember the last time i had made a gingerbread house.
it definitely has to be middle school or even earlier.
thanks Linnea, for reminding me how much fun it is!
(chipmunk daron is eating i don't know what)
this picture below is so dear to my heart.
see that man in the middle?
that is
Lee Sterling Carlson.
Carter's great-grandfather,
daron's grandfather.
he is a remarkable man
(to say the least)
im already thinking about the day
when i will tell Carter about him
and explain how incredibly proud
of his middle name
he should be.
my little penguin...
as santa's helper.
oh that face.
im in love.
i really am.

 Christmas has come and gone.
it does every year way too fast.
our hearts are filled with gratitude as
we were able to spend this Christmas as a family of 3
and take time to focus on what matters most.

Dec 26, 2012

breckenridge, co


we stayed in breckenridge, co for a few days before Christmas. it was quite the treat to be together as a family. the cabin didn't have "Wi-Fi" so the internet was off limits which can be very refreshing these days. i find myself having a love-hate relationship with the cyber world. there were some good moments that I won't forget...like when steve plopped Carter on his foot and sang him "rida rida ranka" for the first time. steve used to sing this old Swedish song to his children when they were little. it was pretty cute to see the tradition live on with baby Carter. 
and this picture below... daron and i have this obsession with playing Carter's voice while we open his mouth to match what we are saying. it's pure entertainment. we laugh way too hard for way too long. i'll be sad when little Carter doesn't let us move his mouth in all sorts of directions and when we can't call him a "newborn" anymore and when he doesn't let me kiss his cheeks 1,236 times in a row. 
oh how i love those cheeks.  
until next time Breckenridge!
let's not wait another 3 years to see you again...

Dec 25, 2012

Dec 22, 2012

a smile

our baby boy started smiling this week. i have been anxiously waiting for this moment since the day he came. i can't believe it's here! oh my goodness i thought i was smitten with this little one. then i saw him smile for the first time and i about died. i could have cried. i can't explain how this smile makes me feel. my heart wants to burst. it's impossible for me not to smile when i see him with that gummy grin and those bright eyes. best Christmas present this new mommy could ask for...
*pictures by auntie anna

Dec 17, 2012

my baby buddha, all grown up

as i dressed Carter this morning, i reminded him how this shirt was one he wore in the hospital and he was practically swimming in it. "even though it's way too big for you" i said, "we are putting you in this because we don't care about this shirt. and since this is the 3rd shirt i am putting on you this morning i think that's a sign that it's a day to wear clothes we don't care about..."

i put the shirt on him and voila, we had a baby Buddha on our hands. Carter's tummy was pokin' out of this shirt all day. i don't know what i was expecting. i know he is obviously bigger than he was in the hospital but this much bigger!? it put things into perspective. my once "teeny teeny" baby has graduated to now "teeny" baby status.

my little baby. all grown up...almost ;)
his belly is getting rounder, his hair has gotten lighter, his eyelashes are darker and much longer, i still think he has my eye shape, daron's lips and mouth definitely and a nose that is in between. that eye color is still in question. both blue and brown are up for grabs. of course, we could lose the dark hair too... :( ha i don't know why i have become attached to this dark hair. daron thinks it's going to fall out and be blonde like him and of course that he is going to have blue eyes...like him. i'm predicting a boy with dirty blonde hair annnddd i haven't decided on his eyes.

i find it funny that daron and i would wonder/guess/fantasize my entire pregnancy of what our little baby was going to look like and now, here he is! and we are still guessing. who knew?

Dec 12, 2012

on this day 12/12/12

it was a pretty big day around here. Carter turned 1 month old today. my mom also reminded me that this day (12/12/12/) is not coming again for another hundred years. that's pretty nifty if you ask me.

Carter and I celebrated by giving him a yummy bath and having dessert with friends. 

dessert may have been more of a treat for me than him but i promise he enjoyed it :)
he decided he was hungry just as we snapped a shot.  
is it bad that his little crying face kind of cracks me up?

it's been a pretty incredible experience with this little one so far. 
i can't believe how much he has taught me in such a short amount of time.
it was crazy to me that until now, i was counting my son's life in "days."
i'm also still wrapping my mind around the fact that this precious little human is
"my son."

i will think about this little one every day for the rest of my life.
he's my world now. 
my little buddy. 
when i was pregnant, this thought was overwhelming to me.
but now, i can't help but smile when i think about it.

i get to count his 10 fingers and 10 toes every day,
smell his yummy newborn skin,
adore those cute almond eyes,
and snuggle my face into those growing cheeks.

my whole life, i've heard people say being a mother is the hardest thing i will ever do.
those people are right.
this past month was one of the most challenging months i have ever experienced.
i'm not sure if it is like that for every new mother
but it was for me.
everything was so new.
the moments of 
questioning myself 
far outweighed the moments of confidence and assurance.
many times, i felt at a loss.
daron would ask me,
"what should we do??"
and so many times the only response i could muster was,
"i don't know. i don't know."
 that seemed to be the answer to about every question daron had for me over the past month ha. 

but after only 4 short weeks,
i can already say it is getting better.
the confidence is not fully there.
(i don't know if you are ever 100% confident with everything)
but the confidence is growing
bit by bit.

and i gotta say, this feels good. 
really good.

*happy 1 month Carter. mama loves and adores you. she really really does. 


Dec 7, 2012

SO thankful it's friday

last night, as daron was putting Carter to bed, he was holding him close into his chest and whispering to him "i love you" and "daddy loves you..." over and over.
i wanted to watch this scene forever. when i think about it, it did feel like time was standing still for those few moments i was peeking around the corner and spying on them.
i couldn't believe how incredibly rejuvenating these few seconds were.
the feelings of exhaustion and "my head might explode" from this cold were lifted and i was overcome with gratitude and joy for these two boys in my life.

(daron with Carter over thanksgiving)
2012 11 22_0882

2012 11 22_0878

2012 11 22_0876

after this experience, i understand more how people have
"so many children."
(i've probably asked daron 100 times how do people do this so many times and
how did my mom have 5 children?!)
but i have a feeling it's possible because of moments where you watch your spouse
tenderly express his love for your child when he thinks no one is watching.
i don't know maybe i'm wrong. i guess i have a lot of time to figure it out :)

we love fridays around here. 
dad comes home and then we get him all to ourselves 2 days in a row.
heaven i tell you. pure heaven.

Dec 5, 2012

my mr. almond eyes

oh yes, those big almond eyes...they have only gotten bigger, brighter, and more handsome. 


*pictures by suzyo photography

Dec 3, 2012

mothering adventures

the morning started out rough. i had my first bout with all the wonderful bodily functions of my adorable little newborn. it started as i was feeding him. he had a good poop that decided to come out of his diaper. (that had yet to happen...) unfortunately i didn't realize what had happened until it was too late. poop was on our comforter and his blanket and burp rag. i started cleaning it up and it seemed to make things worse. i couldn't figure out what was the problem. then i realized, i was the problem...because the poop was all over me. a bad detail to miss...

the next two hours were pretty much the same story only with spit up and out of control breast milk. by noon, the babe was finally taking his first nap. i can't believe what happens to my mind the moment i see that Carter is asleep. it's total ping pong brain. i think to myself "okay what do i do?! what do i do?!"

"do i shower? yeah i really need to shower..."
"no, i'm starving. i will eat. i should really eat."
"but i still haven't made the bed. "
"i need to put dinner in the crock pot too if we want to have a meal tonight..."
"maybe i should put laundry in first though...cause that can go while i do everything else.."

eventually, i just do all i can in the precious 2 hours i have. then the feeding process starts all over again. 

i am proud to say though that Carter and i took an adventure today. (an adventure these days consists of making it out of the house.) and out of the house we went! we took the stroller out for the first time. mom figured out how to put it up all by herself. (daron has only showed me 1,000 times. i was never really watching. so this was quite the accomplishment). we went to the mall(!!!) and ran an errand. and even had time to visit with some friends in provo. mom's hair was half done and she had a little bit of make up on. but our biggest accomplishment of the day...that was finishing dinner for dad. there was a meal when he came home. that alone is a testament that miracles do happen.

happy 3 weeks Carter. your mom so hopes you can be patient with her. this mothering thing is all so new. she has quite the learning curve. but she is doing it. she is trying the best she can. it amazes her everyday how much she loves you. thank you for making her and your dad so incredibly happy.