Saying goodbye.

is lame. really lame. 

we made it short and quick of course. just like pullin' off the band aid. 

daron and i are officially the only ones left of my family in good old utah. 

i know it has been a great thing for our marriage to be on our own in our little house in lehi. 

but it doesn't make it any easier being the odd ones out. my true feelings are: when i think about how we will be here for 2 more years i kind of panic and it sounds like eternity. i kind of feel my throat closing off and my heart beats faster. i don't know why. there is nothing wrong necessarily with the state...i think it is more the fact that neither daron or my parents are here and so we feel far from "home." our old homes. 

i guess it just takes a while to adjust to not being "from" the place you grew up for 18 years of your life. at least it has been a harder break for me. when people would ask daron and i where we were from in puerto rico and he would say utah, i could feel my face immediately become very perplexed..."utah?? really? we are?" every time he answered that question it caught me off guard. it has hit me that that really should change. daron and i have our own little family. it is little but it is wonderful. it is just the two of us, growing closer more and more each and every day. i know, without a doubt, the day we leave this place...when daron  gets into some program for school and we have to say goodbye...i will be sad. and it will be a time where i look back at all the wonderful experiences we had here. the experiences that defined our relationship. defined who we are as a couple. for it is this house, where our own family began. no other house will we be able to say that about.

i do not want that day to come, where we are packing up and moving on to a new adventure, and feel as though we let this time pass thinking too much of our future. about what was next, everything to look forward to thinking "once this (whatever that is) happens..." oh, it will be so good.

i want to feel as though daron and i took not a moment for granted, lived up every day we had, and have no regrets. Life moves too quickly to only be thinking about what is ahead. i am grateful for times like these...that remind me to take full advantage of my present.     

oh, and of course, there is this edible goodness. who decides to start smiling right when b.j. and elle have to leave. figures, right!?