Baby Mango

i am 19 1/2 weeks along and this baby is already the size of a cute little mango.

it is starting to recognize my voice, use its eyes, and kick me constantly.

each week, i am in desbelief at how fast this pregnancy is going.

this baby isn't even out yet and i want to press the pause button.

for some reason i have always imagined pregnancy dragging on forever.

my experience has been the complete opposite. i want time to stand still because it is rushing

by so quickly.

the first trimester was definitely a doozy.

i really have nothing to complain about because everything was "pregnancy normal"

and comparatively, i know i had it pretty good. but i definitely was thrown for a loop.

i felt like i was dropping all the balls of life all at once.

exhuastion, nausea, and "insatiable hunger" (as i like to call it)

took over.

i was falling asleep at random times and was convinced that i had turned into a slug. 

it was a pretty crazy feeling having this tiny, itty,bitty thing take over so much demand of my whole body.

every time i went out running, my legs felt like lead. 

now, i just have those days every once in a while.

i am starting to get that little baby bumb that sometiems says hello

(depending on what i wear).

the "chubby phase" as i hear many call it was pretty interesting.

clothes were not my friend. i would try on outfit after outfit 

(if you know me, i do not try on multiple outfits)

and then exasperated, i would tell daron

"daron, i HAVE to find something that flatters my body!!!

or i might go crazy."

daron's response, "i don't know if that's possible."

i didn't laugh at this the first time.

then he explained to me what he meant. then i laughed. really hard.

going through pregnancy with him has been a memorable experience for sure.

truly cracks me up every time we have a "wow, our brains think so differently moment."

today is a big day. we have our 20 week ultrasound where we will finally get to see the little one.

(since we will be in powell over my 20th week, my midwife let us come before)

i do not want to find out the sex. at all.

daron wants to find out the sex really.really.really bad.

that has been interseting to say the least.

he frequently proposes different ways to find out what the sex is hoping i will change my mind.

it's so unfortunate we are completely opposite on this issue.

a few weeks ago, he dubbed the baby PAT. saying since we don't know what the baby is, he will just have to call the baby PAT because he is tired of calling the baby "it." his hopes were that i would get so sick of the name i would drag him to the ultrasound and make us find out because i would get so tired of him calling our baby PAT.

unfortunately for him, everytime he says it, i think it is incredibly hilarious. i laugh every time.

overall it has been the most incredible experience being pregnant. it is everything everyone said it would be

and more. because, well, this one is my very own.

i have thought a lot about how for so long i complained and complained about having to push babies out because i was a woman.

it just seemed so unfair!

i have learned how wrong i was.

i haven't gone through labor yet, but i feel i can confidently say the most unfair thing is that

we, as women, get to carry the baby

the whole entire time.

we, as women, get to feel their every little move day after day.

we, as women, experience things with our babies that men physically cannot.

who knew that, at times, it's actually unfair for the men??

i didn't.