one

carter is 1 today. it's possible that i have sung him happy birthday hmmm maybe 15 times already...? it could be 20. i can't stop singing it to him. yesterday was surprisingly hard. i've been so excited for carter to turn one, but when his last day of being zero came, i was so sad. i don't know what it was, but the whole day i was on the verge of tears. i kept telling him, "tomorrow is your brithday carter!!" in a really excited voice with a huge smile on my face but inside i felt like crying.  

then it came time to put him down. that's when i really panicked. i didn't want him to go to sleep. if he went to sleep, that meant today came. and i wasn't ready for today. i actually felt incredibly unprepared. i kept trying to hold him and snuggle him. i just wanted him to nuzzle into me and lay sweetly on my shoulder. but instead he did what he does every night - lots and lots of twirls in my lap while smiling and giggling - and then leaped into his crib. i wanted to cry.

and so i did.

carter has just been the sweetest baby. he is so patient and happy. i know he came first because he would help me best with the adjustment to motherhood. i couldn't have asked for a sweeter spirit to enter our family. 

i love you with my whole heart carter. just always remember that, okay?

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Where's Carter?

there's a new game we play...

just a blanket... 

that's all you need.

cover him up,

-scream- 

"where's carter!? where's carter!?"

while he tries to pull it off,

and you will hear the most magical giggles

that make you feel like

you are the 

funniest 

coolest 

person around.

iphone photo dump

a few moments not to be forgotten...

cotton candy tongue

halloween at disneyland

we've mastered the straw!

a view that never gets old

can't get enough french toast

-just like his mama-

my favorite disney goer

disney cars

savy love

trying to wave for dad

just makin' sure i'm still there

showing daron my first churro in a decade

-way too long!-

and his new favorite spot

xoxo

yesterday it rained. which means, yesterday was awesome.

it rained here in southern california yesterday. it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. i was starting to lose my patience with the heat. i have always loved the rain here. i think it's because it's rare and spices things up a bit. it's a welcome change. i especially appreciated that i got to use the random umbrella i bought from target a month ago. it was 90 degrees outside when i bought it but i couldn't resist! daron, very confused, told me i would never use it. so, yesterday, i sent him these pictures.

and said, "bam! take that!" 

carter had lots of firsts as well. i introduced him to lovely things like fires in fireplaces, puddles, rain drops and rainbows. i wore a sweater (and boots!) and the best part, carter and i spent a lot of time next to the fire that roared in the kitchen allll day long. daron has a few long days at school -like 5 a.m. to 10 p.m. days- most of the time he comes in, eats, we chat and then we die in our beds. but like i said, the rain spices things up a bit. so this night, we laid out blankets next to the deliciously warm fire and recounted our day.

i love rain

roaring fires

new umbrellas

carter

and husband.

another reason i really loved this birthday.

there was a certain individual i couldn't stop thinking about on my birthday.

my mom.

i couldn't stop thinking about how every year, for 24 years, i have been celebrating ME when all this time, i should have been celebrating her. after all, if it were not for her, i wouldn't be here.

and for 24 years, she has loved me no matter what. 

she sacrificed so much to always be there for me. she fed me, clothed me, wiped my millions of runny noses, held me when i was sick, taught me the ways of the world and constantly put my needs before her own. (how do you repay someone like that!?)

so, even though a small gesture,

10 things i love about my lovely mom:

1. her confidence and compassion

2. her velvet crumbcake. it's the best you will ever have

3. her fierce determination to stand up for what is right no matter the circumstances

4. her huge smile

5. her beautiful singing voice

6. her example of sacrifice

7. her love of birds

8. her desire to serve and help others

9. her knowledge

10. her love of God

{a few treasured pictures of me and her}

you're the best mom!

the best birthday yet

i've been 24 for 8 days now. i'm feeling really great about it. i can't decide yet if it's because it's going to be a really great year or if it's just because i really love even numbers. this year there was lots of hooplah (thanks to daron who started the tradition of "birthday week")

some of the noteworthy activities included waking up to sweet love notes all over the house -and car- ... 

i especially loved opening the door to the laundry room and seeing "you're an amazing mother and homemaker." those simple words practically made me whistle with every load of laundry that day. i say "practically" because i don't know how to whistle, i just act like i can. my favorite note though was "you're an amazing driver" on the driver seat window of my car. this made me crack up because the truth is daron can hardly stand it when i drive. he is praying every second for our safety and expresses quite often how much he looks forward to the day when he isn't scared for his life while i'm in the driver's seat -oops- 

we also snuck out for a quick date night to golden spoon where daron pulled out 2 free golden spoons for me! it took him a year and a half to accumulate 2! (that would take me two weeks) his face was so cute. he was so proud. 

on friday night, he took me on a date to the LA jewelry mart where i searched for the biggest diamonds i could find. in case you forgot about my love for diamonds, this post should bring you up to speed :) (it's a ridiculous post). anyway, i tried on a 10 ct. diamond and i was in love. the guy kept trying to tell me it was too big for my finger. i said, "no, no sir. it's just right." poor daron, he was red!

  

saturday night i got to celebrate with the whole family. we took family pictures earlier that day but then everyone came over for lots of yummy food and dessert (pizza and pazookies) and everyone indulged me in playing my favorite games, catch phrase and the animal game. 

i obviously love the hooplah of birthdays. but my birthday felt different this year. i felt incredibly content and the hooplah didn't matter as much. i just felt so grateful for my loving husband and sweet baby. it was an unexpected feeling too. no one told me birthdays were so much better after you're a mom. 

it was, i must say, a lovely surprise. 

anticipating

@carter's first birthday on november 12
::it's truly mind boggling that his first birthday is so close. mind. boggling. people.
i know, with social media, it probably gets old hearing so many moms say "i can't believe this day is actually here!" or "how do you stop time!?" but you hear it all the time because it really is crazy how time just zips by like never before. it's mind boggling, like i said. i have always loved the phrase "mind boggling." try saying it 10 times in a row. 
i dare you.

@carving pumpkins with carter

@my brithday on the 29th of this month
::ever since i had a child, i can't believe how young i feel. every birthday in my past, i used to say "ah! i feel so old!" (even though, obvs, i knew i was young) but there was always a part of me that dreaded getting older. now that i have a baby and feel like a baby myself, my birthday doesn't make me feel older at all. i actually find myself feeling younger than last year. kind of odd.

@needing covers at night

@wearing scarves and cardigans and sweaters and boots and sweaters and boots
::i could wear sweaters and boots 365 days a year

@general conference
i have a feeling it's going to be extra good

@changing my hair  

i've decided the @ sign is way better than the dash. and i feel bad that daron's birthday isn't on this list. but not that bad because i'm not adding it.

cheers to fall!